Yo! Where the hell is the April GotVA article?!!1

Hey now, there’s no need to shout at me. And you’re in it. (And I’m a sword, awesome!)

I’m… in it? (hey why am i all grainy all of a sudden?)

Yes, you are in it. Rather you are it… well your VA is.

… Oh… I guess I am… Kickass! So who am I in real life?

I was getting to that. You are:

AKIRA ISHIDA!

Hey, why do I look so damn retarded?!?!1 What’s up with my eyes?

Dude you need to chill out. That’s what you look like…
…you’re just in SEED Mode…

And why and how did I come to go SEED Mode?! (I look retarded like that…)

Well, if we’d ever actually been explained that in either of the Gundam SEED series, maybe I’d have an answer for you. But your retard of a creator, HeWhoShallNotBeNamed, never really got around to addressing how people go SEED, or who can go SEED, or why it gives you incredible power, or why it changes the person’s eyes, or what it even is or-

Is this another one of your rants about why Fukuda sucks c***?

… … Yes (and I said he shall not be named!)

Can we please get to the point of this thing? This is taking forever

Yeah, come on. I have places to go, people to kill, sand castles to build.

This is even more pathetic than Shinji Ikari without his Prozac…

Look at me, I am wearing a monocle!

Wtf?! Where’d all these people come from?!

… looks like the rest of Ishida’s characters got tired of waiting for their turn to speak… Thank god I only bothered to DL pics of some of them… The guy has voiced well over 100 characters, no joke, and almost half of them have had important roles. He’s even done videogames and dubs for movies (they picked him to do Luke Skywalker, Luke friggin Skywalker!) That may give you a hint how big of a star this guy is.

Hey, I’m Luke Skywalker and I came to save you!

Thanks Gaara. That could have gotten annoying fast.

It’s what I do.

…. moving right along… Anyhow, Akira Ishida is a pretty big star, especially as of recently. As you already might have gathered he voiced Athrun Zala from the most recent Gundam series, SEED and SEED Destiny. Athrun had a big part in both series, and Ishida put in some really high quality work. A voice like that has to have a wide range, screaming, crying, serious, joking, and some of Ishida’s performances in SEED were among the best moments in the entire show. Won’t put in spoilers here, but Athrun had some very emotional scenes in SEED that were done excellently. In particular he does the ‘screaming madly while crying’ and the ‘depressed/indignant’ (both being very separate and different states) to the T.
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Ishida also voices the widely popular (and totally bats*** insane) Gaara of the Desert from Naruto. Ishida’s work on Gaara is top-notch. Early on he has a very ’emotionless killer’ voice, but as the character grows Ishida subtly adds in other tones, but without making it seem like a total change in character or out of place. The creepy voice he uses for Gaara fits the character perfectly.

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Speaking of creepy, today we have a special new addition for you all, an actual sound clip from one of his roles! Ishida has not only done recent popular roles. The clips we have for you are from his role as Kaworu from the much famed, loved, hated, (whatever you think of Eva you have to admit its impact on anime has been huge) Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Could you just let them listen to my beautiful voice already? And why not give them a bigger picture of my oh-so-sexy self?

That’s Kaworu. He was actually a really interesting and nice-guy (very, very, very nice…) character in Eva, but several years of being worshiped by blood-drinking cults of yaoi fangirls has made him a little spoiled and conceited…

Why haven’t I gotten a speaking line in so long?!?!11 I’m obviously the most important character here!

Sad how wealth and fame can ruin a person. (even fictional ones)

Well said Judeau. Almost makes me glad that your anime (Berserk) never got too much attention. Yours was a real good role for Ishida too, casual and friendly, but with some really powerful and well-delivered lines, especially in the last episode.

Why thank you masa! (and did you mention to tell them that the Berserk manga is the absolute most godly manga ever? Which the anime hardly does justice to…)

Justice! Hey that’s the name of my Gundam!

Hey Assrun, shouldn’t you be out somewhere whoring the Gundam name to sell more model kits of your crappy Gundam or something like that? (and yes Judeau, the Berserk manga is without a doubt the epitome of manga.)

What did u jut say about my Gundam!?!11

Why do I feel like the focus isn’t where its supposed to be here? Romi Paku got a perfectly respectable article written on her… *sighs*

I believe you just made a grammar error. It should be it’s, rather than its. I know because I wear a monocle and am smart and stuff. Oh, I’m Cho Hakkai from Gensomaiden Saiyuki: Journey to the West. I’m a rather calm and intellectual character that Ishida also voices, but masa never really liked the show so he’s-

Focusing on the characters that deserve the spotlight. Thank you, I am speaking again. Yes, you’re welcome. Another pic of me? Of course, you can never get too much Kaworu. Hey, isn’t there supposed to be a sound clip of me sometime soon?

He insulted my Gundam! What kind of anime fan r u anyhow? Don’t you know how r0xorz I am!!11

I. Want. To. Kill. Something…

Phew, finally made it! Hey all I’m Sasuke (no, not that one) from Samurai Deeper Kyo. Nice to-

Sasuke? Sasuke must die!

Regardless of your error in judgment, I’m glad he’s gone. More spotlight for me.

Mecha bishounen are all the same. Nothing compared to monster anime bish

And WHO the f*** are you?

He’s Xelloss from Slayers Next (and some other Slayers series). I’m Chrono from Chrono Crusade. Ishida also voiced us. We heard there was going to be a feature on our VA and didn’t want all the spoiled mecha whiners to steal the spotlight. We came with Sasuke from SDK… Speaking of, where is Sasuke?

Talk bad about mecha again and you’ll be joining him!

Dude if I wanted s*** from you I’d squeeze your head.

ARR!!

Dude you just totally stole my kill!

Can we just roll that sound clip already? This is getting out of hand. If you forgot, it’s a short clip from Kaworu in Evangelion. In English the line is “I think I was born to meet you.” (you have no idea how many different versions of the translation I found… that about sums it up though.) “Akira Ishida-Kaworu- sound byte’

Music to your ears isn’t it? I am surely Ishida’s defining role! Don’t you have another of me?

Actually yes, I do. This one is a clip of you and another character in Eva. The first, lower voice that speaks for most of it is Ishida’s Kaworu, and the higher-pitched responses (they’re one word repetitions of words Kaworu just said, asked in a question) are someone else.

kaworu sound byte

If you can’t tell why I’m being so cryptic it’s because while that sound byte doesn’t contain a ‘spoiler’ per se, it is an important dialogue part from late in the series. Those of you who want to know what it says can feel free to e-mail me or sign up on the forums and send me a Private Message there. Here’s a hint, it’s super creepy…

Creepy! How dare you call me creepy! I was just- Hey! What the F*** did you do to my beautiful face?! You didn’t even bother to match the eyes up properly! This is an outrage!

Kaworu I think you’re done here… (and I can give SEED eyes to whomever I please)

No! No no no no no! I will not accept this! I’m beautiful I don’t need to take this s*** from someone who’s probably a fat, pimply 30+ virgin living in his parents house! I’m a star! I-

Gaara, sic ’em.

Hey, no, wait! I’ll be good I- Oh, hey is that a new pic of me there? Lookin good Kaworu! Hey, wait a second my eyes are supposed to be red! Those are still those stupid SEE-

Sweet, sweet massacre…

(remind me not to piss that guy off, ever…)

That just goes to show… You need to buy my Gundam model kit!

Oh no, not this again… I can’t imagine Amuro Ray being like this…

Can I kill him?

You want to try it buddy?!1

I will have order! Do you know how much trouble I’m going to be in with the bandwidth I’m probably blowing on this thing?!

But he insulted my Gundam!

And I want to use his bones for my sandcastle I’ve been looking for a femur about that size…

Can I get some lines here please? … … … Alex Dino is such a gay name…

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

SILENCE! I SWEAR I’M ABOUT TO KILL ALL OF YOU!

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(Kill me? Hah, I’d totally kick his ass!)

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Wait? You heard that?!

Gaara look at me, I’m an ancient burning samurai sword, in SEED mode nonetheless. Yes I heard that. Goodbye.

Now we will continue this article in an orderly fashion! Next person to let out so much as a peep can kiss their ass goodbye!

Good! Now, as I was saying, Akira Ishida is also an interesting individual. Among his hobbies are-

ACHOO!

… … Was that second shot even necessary?

Alex Dino is a perfectly good alias. You hear me? No, no you don’t CUZ UR F*** DEAD! I F*** PWNED YOUR MONOCLE WEARING ASS!

… you don’t get laid enough do you?

Guys don’t push it. There’s a reason you’re both still alive and the others are dead…

So I can promote my Model Kits! Coming out next month is-

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The correct answer was: we’re still alive cuz you’re playing favorites?

Bingo. Out of all those characters you (and then) Athrun are my favorites of the one Ishida’s voiced.

Damn it feels good to be number one! Hey, I think that third episode of Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is finally done DLing. Wanna go watch it?

Yeah why not. This month’s article is all f**** up anyway…

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… … are they gone? … … And no more SEED eyes! Phew… Well, for those of you who managed to stick around, here’s some actual info about me!

Like was said, I’ve voiced hundreds of characters. Anime, movies, video games, I’ve even sung in an OVA theme song and performed in a musical! Yeah, I’m sorta a big deal.

But at the same time I often try not to let my characters ‘steal’ the show. I just do the role the artist had in mind, even if that character has potential to dominate every scene. I’ve been told I compliment the other characters on screen very well while still doing the job with my character (Xellos, Hellsing Next- Hakkai, Saiyuki).

Another reoccurring trait in most of my characters is that I have them speak politely, even in tense/dramatic situations. This is actually sort of funny because it takes a ridiculously long time to say things formally in Japanese!
Funny enough, I’ve often been paired up with Hoshi Soichiro in numerous animes where he plays my friend/companion. Me and him have been (Me on the left/Soichiro on the right): Athrun/Kira, Gundam SEED. Hakkai/Goku, Saiyuki. Inumaru/Sano Seiichirou, Law of Ueki. Naoji/Camus, Meine Liebe. Kai/Ran, Sukisho. Dunno why we always get paired together like that… well guess it’s bound to happen when you’re in as many animes as I’ve been.

I’ve also been in: Blood+ (Joel), Cyborg 009 (Apollo), D.N.Angel (Satoshi Hiwatari), Gunparade March (Atsushi Hayami), Kiddy Grade (Un-oh), Mai-Hime (Nagi Homura), Mai-Otome (Nagi Artai), Sailor Moon SuperS (Fisheye), as well as many many more!
Oh, I also have a sound byte on my website! Masa has no idea what I’m saying in it though. http://www.mausu.net/talent/tpdb_view.cgi?UID=76 Click the button below my pic to listen!

Finally! If any of you are cute single women in the Japan area (preferably with blue eyes, my favorite color) we can go for a romantic dinner of curry rice and I can drive you around on my hot motorcycle. Oh and if you taste or smell like peaches that’s only an added bonus… (I loooove peaches! Millions of peaches, peaches for me, millions of peaches, peaches for free~~)
(props to Athrun0wnzall -dude i totally made fun of your favorite character though!- and sheva for their input)